Monday, July 30, 2007

Baby Milkshakes

My husband was giving me the low-down when I returned home from shopping. He began by saying he and the baby had a great time playing together while I was gone. He then began telling me that he prepared a bottle for the baby but for some reason, it looked extra thick to him today! Before he could finish his sentence, my first-time mother alarm bell began sounding off! In my head, my exacting and methodical nature began screaming out "he must not have used the right proportions!" but my heart also melted at the same time and caught me from saying anything out loud.

I just listened as he continued with this now amusing story, as he arrived at the same conclusion my instincts were telling me. He used too much formula and not enough water. He also went on to say that the baby would not let this particular bottle out of his grip, as he slurped this baby milkshake up in no time!

I am so glad the baby enjoyed this so much and I am even more delighted that I saw the humour in it all!

Friday, July 27, 2007

A Rare Find

Did this photograph make you look twice?!?
You can imagine what I thought when I found this rare discovery in Southampton last week. This photo doesn't belong to me but it was found on the internet while I searched for any clues that there could be such thing as two-headed turtles. Well, see for yourself now folks! (ahhhhem, dear husband who doubted me. What do you have to say for yourself now!)
After second guessing my vision, I called my father over to verify this. He and I watched closely in awe as both heads popped up above water and looked in separate directions. It was one of the most hilarious things I have seen. At the same time, it horrified me! I can't explain, really. It was something that I just couldn't seem to shake the entire evening. A shiver kept coming over me as I thought of a two-headed turtle in my bed as I tried to go to sleep. I said aloud to my husband, "that really was a turtle with two heads! Can you believe it!!"
Now that my internet search tells me this is a rare finding, I will have to call the Ministy of Natural Resources and tell them to be on the look out for this strange creature in Fairy Lake!

the eleventh month

I remember my sister saying to me a few years back, once you have a child, your whole life shifts and your outlook changes. You see things from a different perspective and things that normally would build up in your system just won't affect you the same anymore.

Our baby is reaching the eleventh month mark. Yikes! There is something to be said about nearing his first birthday. It really makes me want to cry me a river!

That said. This is what I think right about now.

I have spent enough of my days questioning the true meaning of life. It is here now in the flesh! We have a little miracle of life in our arms, waiting to be nurtured, loved, taught and guided. Our lives are really full. I have to be in this moment with our child. For every minute I may be preoccupied, I miss out. I will not miss out.

My priorities have shifted. I am "in the game". If anything is going to make me take life in a more healthy direction, I have our baby to thank! I have began filtering what matters most. It is a chance to get my butt in motion, clear my headspace, get rid of emotional baggage that is blocking me and be the best person I can be. I love my life. I love our life together!

I could never imagine this baby would impact our lives so beautifully.

The best is yet to be baby boy.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

sacred space

It is nice to know that no matter where I am, I can take my thoughts with me. They are very portable. I do a lot of pondering. Sometimes too much. Let me tell you though that is can be very productive. I am a deep thinker. I can solve problems, set goals, dream, talk myself through it, reminisce, giggle, worry, vent and so much more!

It is a sacred space I call my thoughts.

It doesn't cost me a penny to visit nor does it ever get too crowded. I love escaping to this special place as often as I can.

I urge you to visit your own sacred space more often. People just don't give themselves the time they deserve to search within. To explore fears, apprehensions, dreams, emotions and experiences.

I often give my hubby the "inside scoop" and other times when I appear distracted he tells me, "can you just pay me some mind for a minute there girl".. meaning, take yourself away from your thoughts for a minute and listen to what I have got to say! Okay and I snap out of it and we both laugh!

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Wherever you are

I wonder where you are. If I could tell you how much you changed my life you would be really surprised. I have told my husband about you. He thanks you too!

I was a very vulnerable teenager. I was a challenge to my parents. I was depressed. I was lost. I was on the cusp of rebellion but I didn't have the guts. I just screwed up a lot. I couldn't put a finger on it at the time but something was really missing from my life. Me.

I met you. You were a good, good person. You had your own challenges too but something was different about you. You were stronger, I think. You were one of the most gentle and kind people I have ever met. You were fragile in your own way but you concealed it well. You excelled in most things. A proficient student. A skilled athlete. A volunteer. A friend to many. A lover of animals. A conscientious employee. An acrobat. A leader. A believer. A steadfast young teen with dreams to escape poverty. A son of a mother who was an alcoholic. A son of a father who was absent. A brother of a deceased toddler. A survivor of child abuse. Alone you were.

I didn't know at the time how many odds you had beat already. I didn't know at the time how much I had taken for granted in my own life. I didn't know at the time how lucky I was to have the parents I had. I didn't know at the time how lucky I was to have you in my life. You led me in a different direction. I didn't know at the time how to accept your generosity of heart, your wisdom, your encouragement, your fondness for me. I just didn't know.

Instead, I just mistreated you and let you down like everyone else did in your life.

Your only living relative was your mother. You wanted to pull her out of poverty one day. You wanted to save her. You wanted to make her proud. You did. Only, it was too late for her to be saved. What sadness and tragedy you have experienced.

I am so happy you have found a wife. A mother to your children. A person to love you whole. We were young kids back then but I still remember.

I thank you a hundred times over for believing in me at a time when I didn't believe in myself.

Thank you wherever you are.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

the corner store

If you were lucky enough to live close to a cool corner store, you gained lots of status when I was a kid. For some friends, it wasn't appealing enough to just visit with them- but if they happened to have a great corner store near-by, I was all over it!! I find that concept hilarious but it's so true.

A trip to the "corner store" was such a magical adventure- especially if your grandparents just stopped by and filled your pocket up with lots of spare change.

The one near my grandmother's was a favourite! We'd walk through and listen to the wooden floors creak beneath us as we would make our presence known at the candy counter! "Two bags please," I would say in a polite but firm little voice. I was all business. I'd hand one to my sister and together, we'd compete on how quickly we could fill our bags up with penny candy! I'd run to the cash register and hand her my fifty cents. This got us an overflowing brown paper bag full of the good stuff! We'd even trade once we got down to the bottom and our bellies weren't feeling so selfish.

We'd wave goodbye to the owner and then my sister would stop quickly in her tracks!
"We forgot the kielbasa, dummy!" We'd both run back to the deli counter and order an arm's length of the famous "Beach Road Kielbasa" for our grandparents. The owner would laugh at us as she handed back the taped package and we'd be on our way.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

"Clean up in Aisle One please"

There is a cashier in me that will always remain. The little girl who loved pulling out canned goods from her aunt's fruit cellar while her sister rung them in was so much fun! I remember those days clearly. We'd take turns playing "customer" and "cashier" but we'd usually fight over the "cashier" role. Of course.

Throughout my teen years, I had various cashier jobs and this time, I actually got paid! Sweet! There was something about ringing the items through, taking money and giving back change, bagging the items and waving good-bye! I really enjoyed those transactions. Sounds funny eh?

You have no idea how excited I was to walk into Zehrs a few years back to find the Self Check-outs! It was my chance to get in the cashier role again but this time with my own groceries! My husband would often get fed up and start walking out of the store while I slowly scanned each item and carefully placed it into the bag. He would insist how much quicker it was to go through the regular check-outs but for me, it wasn't about that!

When I began my search for day-care items, guess what I searched for first? A cash register and some "pretend" produce, vegetables and plastic canned goods! I will often beg the kids to let me have my turn at cashier. I will pick up my pretend speaker phone and announce "Attention Shoppers, it is 9:00 and our store is now closing...." The kids laugh. I make my announcements with my very nasal tone and it makes for one very realistic cashier!

My inner child is here to stay and I am certain this will keep me young!

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

I remember the quiet

Today I drove down a side street with my windows down and something grabbed my attention quickly. The quiet. There was absolute silence on this street. I pulled the vehicle over and turned off my ignition. I was alone. I was suddenly captivated by the sound of quiet. I have not heard it in some time and I was now savouring it. I closed my eyes and paused a deep breath.

I like the hustle and bustle of my life. It is not chaotic and filled with clutter. It is abundant with life and fairly simple yet there are times when I don't stop to pause when I need to.

On a random Wednesday evening, there I was. I remembered the quiet.