Wednesday, May 23, 2007

courageous words of profanity

There is a rebellious teenager inside me that wants to shout out obscenities in my writing! I want to voice all of the frustration or hurt I have felt but more so, I just want to use my creativity in a different voice sometimes. Not all of this tactful, respectful and censored thinking. Don't get me wrong, my writing comes naturally for the most part. Once in a while though, I come across some powerfully moving stuff from other writers that have profanity painted all over their walls and it stuns me and moves me completely. It hits me right in the gut and I get their message instantly. No questions asked. No underlying meaning. Just staring me in the face in their bold print.

I applaud these kind of writers. They are brave and courageous. We can't always see things in a positive light. This is not reality. I don't think I will ever be brave enough in this regard. I will just continue shouting into a pillow when need be.

We all need an outlet sometimes.

all things tangible

Why must we account for all our moments spent? They are all meaningful. Why must we feel less of a human being if we have not a degree or a blackberry in our possession? Why must we feel less of a mother if we have not signed our kids up for every possible team you could imagine? Why must we feel less of a friend if we have cannot buy lavish gifts or restaurant outings? Why must we feel less of a partner if the house is not kept up, dinners are not planned well in advance or romantic gestures are put on the back burner sometimes?

I have spoken to various women in my life about their sense of purpose and their outlook on their own life signature. Most feel they are scrambling to find meaning and others feel there is something missing but just can't figure out what that is.

Things are measured by all things tangible. That is, what do you have to show for your time or your money?

Most of us seldom realize if we removed that from the equation, our hearts would feel more at ease. Our sense of selves would feel more sturdy. Think of all the things you can fit into your day? We often spend time doing things under the surface. We try to think of ways to celebrate people we love, we try to be better people (which in itself is VERY time consuming) and we try to do for others often. This is not a martyr approach but it is reality if you are anything close to being a woman. It is in all of us whether we are mothers to children or not.

I may pick up a hobby along the way but it will always have to be the activity that comes after everything else.

I will still feel that in the end, I have spent my time well.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Welcome to the Block!

Tonight was a warm summer-like evening. We opened all the windows and I began to read a book in bed because it was far too early to sleep, I thought. My eyes began getting drowsy and I was losing interest in this novel. To my delight, I jumped up out of bed and ran to the window! It was literally, music to my ears. The sound of a guitar playing and a male voice leading the song with little girls singing their hearts out with him! I knew it had to be the neighbours across the street. I have shared a few brief conversations with them before. I have been intrigued by them since we moved in. My husband and I often find amusement watching the two little girls creating their own adventures in the front yard. They are often seen pulling their puppies on leashes, hanging from the trees, chasing each other up and down the street and giggling as much as they can. It really is something wonderful. I can't tell you what the sound of children's laughter does for me. It assures me that those kids are getting exactly what they need.... a carefree childhood that is busy with activity and their imaginations!

I began putting my shoes on and my husband wondered where I was going. As I called back to him, I told him I was going to join the party! He laughed. He knows me too well. Where there is activity and excitement, Laura is there!

I now stood on their porch and tried not to interrupt their song. They wrapped up and I gave them a round of applause! I explained how much I enjoyed hearing them singing from across the street, that I just had to get a front row seat for at least one more song. Without hesitation, they smiled and began performing like they were on stage. The oldest girl holding a pretend microphone while the youngest sat on a bar-like stool. The father (Keith) who is a local musician told me he tries to treat everyday around their place like it's the weekend. What a wonderful outlook! He was sipping on wine, the tealight candles added a special ambiance to their patio while the girls stood around in their PJ's.

I didn't want to overstay my welcome but I was officially welcomed to the block and told to come back soon to one of their backyard concerts! These are the type of people we love to have as neighbours, I thought.